I am so glad that finally the ‘then’, and ‘now’ have interchanged their places. As of today, I speak more of ‘now’, and less of ‘then’. Probably, because I have nailed the purpose of my continuation on this otherwise puzzling piece of concept called universe.

Now, that I have so effectively intellectualized the excuse behind this modest endeavor to spit some gibberish; let me just have few moment of yours.

The ‘then’ was always a reality that I desired to experience again but failed miserably every time I tried to recreate. I never could comprehend the reason that was responsible so far from getting their. Oops, I believe I am testing your patience by not letting you access the ‘then’ of my life. Well, the ‘then’ in a way summarized the point in time when I was content and happy. The Initial, part of ‘then’ consists mostly of memories of me attending those drama/play rehearsals that my father/boss (whom I normally refer to as) directed. Although, a kid of 5 years but completely conscious of the fact that I was the royal son of the captain, fully enjoyed the attention, and off course the most important tea sessions with my share of extra bakery made biscuits at the end of those rehearsals. And for those of you wandering, yes I am having tea since I was five, and had tasted beer by then. For those of you still to start shame shame poppy shame.

Days and then suddenly years went by and I was in 8th standard. Till now never was, or had the courage to be part of a simple play. Just always listened to that hopelessly pessimistic self, and limited myself to that applauding contingent. By the way, for those of you who are yet to be at the receiving end of it, the applause, the ovation from a big audience, the sound of it can be a real addictive, and life changer. Ninth standard got nominated under duress for a mono acting competition as part of those extra curricular ‘HOUSE’ activities in school, got the first prize on a self improvised skit, and that was it. Trust me I couldn’t believe the response I got. And soon I was part of everything that was remotely cultural, and to be performed on stage in school. This gave me the confidence to be part of a street play performed by an amateur group that my boss (read father) promoted and managed, and soon few other plays followed. It was so fulfilling. Finally, I had become an actor. I was so proud of myself. To be able to write ‘acting and dramatics” under the column called hobbies wherever they asked for it, and most of the times even when there was no need for it, (my current professional resume included) is an absurd habit which I still shamelessly carry.

Anyways, engineering days followed, did three more plays there, and not to forget a TV tele – film for DD NE channel with a TRP of 7 (One viewer per NE state). The difference this time was the plays were in the domain of abstract and intellectual expression, whatever they meant but most important, it was appreciated by an audience full of 18+ figures from opposite sex.

Appeared for my final exam in 2002, and down came the curtains on all that signified my ‘then’. Higher studies, part time to pay for it, struggle for job, and all basic must to do in this country for any graduate followed. Add to that my inherent lethargic approach to possible everything that I want, meant that the ‘then’ had died a silent death, leaving no chance to make it my ‘now’.
Then God knows how, a dear friend sent me this link, and I called up and enrolled.

On to my third job now, after two years of some personal chaos, and 9 years yearning for the ‘then’, it was last Saturday that I felt so similar and close to what I had experienced years back at day of the competition in Ninth.

Enough is enough. From now on the ‘then’ will be my ‘now’ forever. No more kidding. For my dear buddies at misfits who are just onto their ‘now’, never ever let that turn into ‘then’.

Thank You

Misfits